Float.

The past is slipping away and I can't get grasp the flailing strands of days fading into memories, and I can't fall into the arms of a welcoming future because I'm thrashing around in a shattered limbo of uncertainty, with no sense of feet on the ground or hands in the air.

It's times like this that I feel like i could just float forever.

Let me die without it hurting anyone else, and I'll just let go.

I promise.

Food: deliciousness I never want to give up.

I have this thing, where I really enjoy eating food. Like, food just tastes so amazing sometimes. Do you get that?

So this weekend I went to visit my friend in Manchester and their German market was just beginning on Friday (officially opened on Saturday, but if there were traders ready when they tested it on Friday they could trade from then!). Not only was it the biggest Christmas market I've seen in England (not much of a statement though, I haven't seen many!) - excluding London's Winter Wonderland, because that is in a league of its own - it was also beautiful and smelled freaking amazing.

Naturally we went around and tried every free sample we could haha, especially the cheese. This year they were selling pesto cheese. YES, THAT IS RIGHT, PESTO CHEESE. 

If you like pesto, I highly reccomend getting some. It tasted amazing.

We also had hot Vimto - another thing that tasted wonderful. I think I am going to try and make mulled/hot Cheeky Vimto's when I get the chance/get some Port!

These are the mugs we got it in: the theme of this years market?

Kissing Christmas!
How cute :)

But yeah, if you can go check it out:

http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1588380_manchester-christmas-markets-2012-a-guide-to-the-citys-festive-stalls

Also saw this bike next to this tree in Manchester. I know it's not black and white, but the colour kind of makes this so...! I guess not everything is better in b&w.

Like this: its Sheffields Dam House out of focus. I think it makes a ..nice... (if not a bit standard) background for a phone or something.

But yeah! Conclusion? PESTO CHEESE is the way forward, as is pizza pancakes (make a pancake, put tomato puree on, cheese, toppings of your choice and whack it in a pre-heated oven for 5 or so minutes and there you have it!) and bacon with everything, of course.

Lest We Forget

So it's Remembrance Sunday. I am writing this an hour after we held a 2 minute silence to respect, honour and remember those who have died to save our country.

I have strong objections to our military operations in other countries, to the idea of the military, and to the Governments use and control of other people to fight their battles, to make them look like they have power.

It is entirely an individuals choice whether to join the military or not, and you can't always hate the individual for making that choice - sometimes it is right for them. But the idea of going into another country to kill the people there to stop them...doing what? Having power in their own country? Having control? It is ridiculous. If we all only had armies to defend our country that would work...if only it was that easy, and I am not that naive. It would never happen. But attacking another country before they attack you? Or because you think that they have already attacked you - well, don't rise to it. You still have power, you just don't need to flaunt it by sending thousands of young troops to their death in a war that has won you nothing, only lost you lives on both sides.

I am forever grateful for the men and women who fought in the World Wars to save our country so we can have the lives we have now, but I just can't support the troops who have killed for our government, who went to war wrongly, and wasted so much life, and caused so much hurt. It is not the people individually, but the establishment, and the Government. I also really wish the military would properly and fully rehabilitate soldiers into living in normal society after they have left the army, etc. It is the least they can do after these people have risked their lives for you.

I have met a number of soldiers and some have said that being in the army was the best thing that happened to them, but they have still killed people they didn't even know. I don't know if I could ever feel right doing that, or join an establishment whose purpose is to train you to kill, and take you somewhere to do that.

A few years back, when the fighting was the worse in Helmand Province, a friend and I met young guy on a bus (his dad's friend had been talking to us, and had been a bit drunk, so the young guy apologised   and we got talking to him). It turned out that he was on his way to the army barracks because the day after he was being sent out to fight, in Helmand Province. When he said that, my friend and I just looked at each other, and both instantly knew that the odds of this guy surviving were not high. The poor guy seemed so positive, and I felt so disheartened at the fact that the being in the army was giving him such a sense of purpose and he was just being sent to his death. We wished him luck as he got off the bus. It still makes me cry whenever I think about that moment. He had no idea where Helmand Province was, or that it was the worst place at that time. And we knew that he might die.

I hope he survived.

So today we remember those who died, and probably wish they never had to in the first place. Why have we not learnt that you can't win a war, because no victory brings back all those who lost their lives in gaining it.

A thought about radical feminists.

Radical feminists – the kind of feminists who think that the way women can achieve liberation and be emancipated is by having more power than men, and matriarchy being the new patriarchy. But it’s when one group of people think they deserve more power, or that they are better than other groups of people…that’s when you get sexism, racism, dictators, people like Hitler, genocide. We just don’t seem to progress as a race very well when we have people competing for power like this. When politicians and military leaders compete for power we get war, where unnecessary amounts of people die on both sides. When two political parties compete for power we get fighting and rioting. When two people compete for power in a relationship you get abuse, hurt and it doesn’t work. When it works there is a level of equality. Treat people how you want them to treat you. Respect them, their opinions and their right to think and be different to you. Celebrate your differences: differences in race, gender, sexuality, political preference, and find peace and equality within those differences.

A bomb, A-bomb.

I was sat in my lecture today, and we were talking about important events of the 20th Century, and my lecturer mentioned the atom bomb in passing.
THE atom bomb.

Correct me if I am wrong, but weren't there TWO?
One that was dropped on Nagasaki, and one that was dropped on Hiroshima?

Why do we always seem to forget that, or graze over it?
Like the way we mention the atom bombs like they are just more bombs that maybe landed on a house and destroyed it, maybe killed a few people... They effectively ended the way because they were so powerful. Yet, they are always just mentioned in passing - effectively slipped in to our vocab. like they are nothing special.

They OBLITERATED everything.
Cities were destroyed.
People were turned to ASH where they stood.
Why don't we see these images when we talk about the atom bomb?
Maybe we picture the mushroom cloud because those images are so famous, but then they are so famous that they don't shock us any more. They have been normalised in our minds. For a mushroom cloud that big, imagine the size of the bomb, please, and think about HOW MUCH IT DESTROYED.

How can we just mention this devastation like it was no worse than any other bomb?

And the people! Their lives were gone. Everything they owned, loved, cared about was gone. They are burnt, scarred, OBLITERATED WHERE THEY STAND. They are turned to shadows on the ground, right were they stood, alive, just moments before.

Then they are poisoned by the radiation, and it effects the children they have, and it effects their children's children. Birth defects, physical impairments, mental disability. Lives ruined for generations, and why?

Because America wanted to show how powerful they were. They had weapons powerful enough to end a war. I think Japan saw this and surrendered because they realised the cost of human life wasn't worth whatever they were fighting for. At least, I sincerely hope they thought that.

America just doesn't stop does it? It is pretty arguably the most powerful country in the world, and of course it has nuclear weapons. Like all the other countries that hav nuclear weapons, no one is really trying to hide the fact. In fact, it's become a source of competition. The majority of the worlds leaders are just fighting to show off who has the most power, aren't they? I mean, why else do you become the leader of a powerful country? To help the people in it, or to take control of it? To have a stake in controlling the world we live in too.

 So this is what it boils down to, huh? Leaders fighting for power, proud of their technological advancements, their "improvements" in weaponry - always finding new and better ways to kill more people... Their pride will be their downfall, and they will drag us all and this beautiful world with them. They will fight and compete until someone is stupid enough to show off and fire a nuclear missile, and start a nuclear war and they say only the cockroaches can survive that. What hope do we have as humans if our leaders are in control of the destiny of this world? I just hope they listen to those ancient Greeks and their plays about hubris, and how the proud man never wins. We act them out time and time again, we know them, we know the characters and yet we never seem to learn. And if we know, why aren't we doing something to make the world leaders know what we know? Could we even do that?
Maybe. Maybe we're all just going to end up like this. Except there'll be no one to take our picture and make someone angry about the ignorance and injustice in the future. There probably won't even be bodies to find, or earth to find them on...
We've progressed well as a species, haven't we?

Blunderbuss, etc.

This word has been cropping up a lot lately. What's that phenomenon called, where you learn something new, or like you get a new car and then you see that car everywhere?

Well anyway:

Blun-der-buss/' ’bləndərˌbəs/
Noun: A short barrelled, large-bored gun with a flared muzzle, used at close range.
           An action or way of doing something that is regarded as lacking in subtlety and precision.


1 - Looper

2 - Jack White's debut solo album. Which by the way, is pretty awesome. I am going to see him perform at Ally Pally in a few weeks so more about him later. (I am beyond excited; I love the White Stripes and would give anything to see them live, but seeing him will be almost as good, and good enough!)

So I recommend giving his album a  listen, if you like slightly quirky, alternative music that has good guitar riffs, intricate piano and, as ever, intriguing lyrics supported by unique vocals.



Also, if you like folk-y music you should check out the band The Lumineers. I heard their song Ho Hey on the e-on energy advert (that is about kettles?!) and was immediately hooked on the upbeat, punchy guitar and anthem-esque drum beat - but not overly chant-y - with it's catchy lyrics and the urge to dance along a little. Or clap your hands at least.

*(nb, I re-wrote this today because the formatting was pissing me off. I downloaded their album yesterday and haven't stopped listening to it since! I really like their folky sound, and their lyrics are really interesting. The songs are different too, they don't sound too samey, which is always good.)


I did some YouTube-ing for y'all and I found this:

And if you like that then you might also like Jake Bugg. He's got quite a unique style, heartfelt lyrics and guitar music that feels like it could be used in any film to convey most emotions. I think I will give him more of a listen this week.
But for now, bed.

Enjoy!

Looper!

So I just spent a lovely evening with my friend, at an old cinema in Notting Hill, watching Looper, the new JGL and Bruce Willis thriller.

I can confirm, it was quite thrilling. There was one instance where I jumped so bad that I lurched sideways in my seat and my heart beat so fast I could almost hear it. Surely that a sign of good tension and a film that captures your attention, and holds it?

Normally when I watch a film I can't help but notice continuity errors, or the lighting, or a specific camera angle (when you learn about films, you can't not notice all this stuff when you watch films!), but I was so enraptured by the story that I didn't notice many of these. There was one angle that I noticed that I particularly liked; it was a low angle shot, looking up at Joseph Gordon Levitt's head and shoulders, with the blue sky behind him - very reminiscent of shots where a victim is lying on the ground looking up at their killer/attacker except here, the person on the ground is looking up because they are a child. However it is subtle hint about Levitt's character and also perhaps his relationship with the child.

But yeah, I liked the film, and I definitely recommend you go and see it on a big screen - there are some scenes where the effects just wont look as good on your home tv/laptop/computer/ipad etc.
It wasn't at all predictable, and thus not what I thought it would be. I was worried it would be just another action thriller, set in the futre that doesn't look that much different where they travel back in time, and the difference with this film is that they kill people. But no, it had a much better plot with a story that I haven't really encountered before. Something that is a fairly rare find in films these days...
Rian Johnson - you've done it again.

If you liked Brick you should deffo see Looper.
And if you liked Looper you should go and watch Brick.
And if you love JGL, GO AND WATCH BRICK!

(Rian Johnson also directed Brick, which features JGL.)

Random International - Rain Room

Have you been to the Barbican recently? Random International are exhibiting the Rain Room. It's exactly what it's described to be. A room, where it rains. Rain, indoors, in England? Yeah I know, makes you feel like you can't escape our typical weather anywhere, but heres the catch: you don't get wet. Pretty cool, right? I won't spoil the magic by telling you how it works, but it's here until the 3rd of March so go!

I took some pictures while I was there, to make you want to go even more - aha.
Hope you like them!

Victor Burgin - Photography, Art and Common Sense.

Well, here goes.

I have been meaning to start this blog for ages now; I wanted somewhere where I could talk about my favourite photographers, share interesting things I've learnt or seen, where I could exhibit some of my own work and, well, get my writing out there instead of here, in my head.

Phew, well now that's over, heres to the main topic of my first blog (!): Victor Burgin.

Ever heard of him? I hadn't until yesterday when one of my lecturers started raving about him, and then again today. It turns out, that he is a photographer, author, lecturer, and man who founded the photography course at my university. This was the first university photography degree in the country. Coincidentally, our university's cinema (located on Regent Street) was the first place in Britain where a film was publicly screened - this was by the Lumiere Brothers in 1896!

This made me realise that I am very grateful for what this man started in the University of Westminster. If it wasn't for him, my course would never have existed, and I wouldn't be learning what I am, meeting the people that I have or be so continually enthralled by the worlds of photography and moving image. So thank you, Victor Burgin!

With this in mind, I made a trip to the library to see what I could find.

This: 

A book of Black and White photographs of the city and our relations with the city. I liked it immediately. I don't know about you, but I love the city, and I think I would struggle to live elsewhere. I love the lights, and the movement, and how much is happening. I love how a place so big and so busy can be so empty and so quite in the same day. I love how you can feel so alone, surrounded by so many strangers, but relish in the fact that you are a stranger too. Burgins first sentences emanate this "Our relations with cities are like our relations with people. We love them, hate them, or are indifferent to them." It's true, when you go to a new city, you often make a decision about how you feel about it. Often, people ask you "what did you think of this place" so you weigh up it's elements, judge, and decide. Much like we do when we meet new people - first impressions, etc. "A city may be revealed to us only as we leave it forever, just as people who have been intimates for many years may glimpse certain aspects of each other only in the moment they part." In the same way, a city we've grown up in and left, will still feel familiar when we come home again, like the way strong friendships stay, even when contact isn't so frequent.
But I guess that this isn't solely true for cities. Home is home, wherever it is, and it'll still feel familiar when you go back, right?

"Unlike the promises we make to each other, the promise of the city can never be broken. But like the promise we hold for each other, neither can it be fulfilled."

 "The street is where we involuntarily shop for replacement parts.
'Love at last sight' Walter Benjamin called it, reflecting on Baudelaires poem 'To a Passing Woman'.

The essential is that one should pass.

The disillusion of love is almost invariably guaranteed by the passage from the generality of the image to the particularity of the individual.

We may not always do what we say, but we always say what we do"

America looks so inviting, even in black and white you can see its vibrancy and life.

 Perspective - straight lines tunnelling into the distance, seeming to meet at some point unseen. Somehow the open road seems so much more appealing that the city photographs on the left page... Maybe because its open? It can lead anywhere, to freedom, to exploration, to life?

A photograph overlooking the city of Grenoble in France.

A city in the shadow of mountain, but holding its own. Its that whole thing of feeling so small in a world so big, you know, when giant rock faces that have stood for millions of years tower over you, you can feel somewhat, insignificant.

It reminds me of something Eddie Vedder once said "I'm small, so small, how can this trouble seem so big?"

And this one is from me. Present day London. A balloon attempting to float off into oblivion, but not before it weaved its way through a busy Picadilly Circus, a happy, yellow ball trailing pink, satin ribbon.